Texas Toast
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Jay gets into the usual "Jay" shenanigans...


"Ow my foot..." said Kai without use of a comma to separate his interjection from the rest of his sentence. He was puzzled by this abnormal event. He looked to his right and saw one of his comrades gleefully swinging said comma to and fro.

"Jay, unhand that!" the ninja of fire shouted most angrily and angstly, blood coursing through his plastic veins like marinara within a penne pasta.

"No," giggled Jay as he bounded to the top of the building containing the most steak. He assembled the Lego City ChopperTM and saved the best for last.

"Why he do?" asked Zane, expertly walking with his own two legs. He was puzzled by the joints at his knees, for it was highly unlikely that that was a natural occurrence.

Kai wept with even more angst, tore into his raging bag of Flamin' Hot CheetosTM, and consumed like a 1982 Duran Duran hit.

"Blimey! This wicket is totes stickin'!" said Cole coolly, flexing his delicious abs like how the sun flexes its biceps.

"Tell me about it, bro," said Kai with bro intensity in his eardrums. "Jay is acting like a total Walker, and not the 'Sky' variety."

"This is severely jankin' mah steez," observed Zane's observing Nin-droid life.

"Well, what would Master Wu do in a humongous booty-kickin' crisis like this?" asked Cole with ab affirmation.

Kai blessed the rains down in Africa and then thought about how to neatly define corn. He rushed to the movie set of _Interstellar_ and requested eight bags of bananas. He stored seven in Zane's head and drew a picture of a burro on the eighth. "It shall be named 'Henry'," he remarked handsomely.

Jay was still lickin' his way to the top like hit video game developer Crystal Dynamics's long-lost anthropomorphic reptilian mascot. He found three remotes along the way and then realised exactly where he was.

"This is New York! I lived here! Worked here..." Jay mumbled to himself in true nostalgic fashion. He made sure his cowboy boots were on the right feet before initiating launch sequence.

"What do, Wu?" asked Zane. He and the other two ninja dudes were there in the plastic.

Sensei Wu stroked his beard and drank some tea. This was the only thing in this fanfic that seemed normal. Then he died.

"Holy chicken," said Kai with the enthusiasm of eleven hunky-dory pterodactyls. "Do you see with your eyeing eyeballs that this is indeed a bogus happenstance?"

Zane observed with said eyeballs. "My optic scanners scan a dead Lego boi," said the icy lad of metallic plastic.

Cole thought about how to pick up cars using tow trucks and Dareth's beefy quads. "I don't believe in nimrods," he said sassily.

Many women heard about the hot thing Cole said and fell in love with him. Cole was so beautiful in this way that he began to sing for his crew of idolising fans. But when the ladies heard his singing voice, they all deserted him. He sounded like a dying antelope that got stuck in cheese.

"This is totes the baddest day ever!" said the ghost of Wu as he beatboxed to the top of Jay's tower. "Why you such a big dork?"

"Sensei Wu, do not make fun of me!" snapped Jay. "My self-esteem is mondo-low 'cause my gal pal Nya thinks I am a loser."

"I think you have mighty abs," said Wu.

Jay was happy to hear this masterful compliment. He decided to remain ninja-lifed and flew down the building in order to reclaim his brotherhood.

"Our blue person is returning to our wholesome unit!" Zane cheered. He, Kai, Cole, and Cole's pecky-abby goodness ran over to Jay and hugged him with so much bro-power that the sky cried. It was like rain, but salty due to how righteous the world was now.

"But where is Lloyd?" asked Jay jayly.

"He died in Houston, but we revived him with a magic emerald," explained the Falcon who was sitting inside a cabin on Main Street, Ninjago City.

"Aha!" sneered Cole. "I knew I had hair today!" He gave a special coin to each of his brethren ninja and they flew off to Houston. At the hospital, the now-living Lloyd was eating popsicles and playing the Super Atari Genesis 64 with his diamond-encrusted 360 controller.

"Lloyd, are you alive?" asked Kai with tears in his jeans.

"I'm rad," said the green ninja who was gold that one time.

"Good, fork over the money," said Zane as he robbed the hospital and became the coolest doctor ever.

Kai and Cole sat next to each other on the bus ride home and named a special pot of gravy after their friendship.

**THE END**


End file.
